Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

TV's prominent hosts used their airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's recently unveiled visa program, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday tune targeting the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... destroys each thing he handles."

The focus was the controversial initiative which allows foreign citizens to acquire U.S. residency for an investment of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" version for five million. The program's website promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief note here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He noted that the scheme is also intended to "get cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, requiring significant payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The best background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging poll ratings amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a effort to tackle cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a display of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.